Major news is the death of the Snow Leopard King, Frugec a Quahe, current - or rather, previous - ruler of the province and mayor of Vosarn. Apparently the once illustrious leader popped off as a result of the Green Plague that's wafting its way all over the city. Just goes to show that no bugger's immune. The fact that the King was a worshipper of Ember caused a little problem when the fire lit at his ceremony of cremation got a little out of control and burned down about fifty houses: but it's all right, they were only those belonging to peasants and stuff, nobody important.

More trouble in Vosarn itself as an an incident in one of the city's hostelries resulted in the death of a captain of the guard: according to surviving members of the squad, a group of individuals without papers were discovered, and upon questioning were found to be Snuurg and some other buggers. What with Snuurg being Snuurg, said the officers, their captain didn't last two shakes of a sneep's tail before becoming greasy ashes, at which point the rest of them decided to cut their losses. Of course, since it's well known that Snuurg's in Purelon doing over Shefrik, all those involved have been court-martialled for being pissed and out of control with a box of matches while on duty.

There's been unprecedented insect activity in the Blaustwal Mountains of late after a hive mysteriously burned and exploded a bit and scattered bits of chitin all over the place. This isn't the sort of thing insect hives normally do, and as a result locals are a bit puzzled.

Still hundreds of naked and annoying humans running about all over the province. Somebody come and finish'em off, for gods' sake, they're ruining the natural ambience of the place.

This report just in from our agent Skint Eastwood: "CELEBRITIES IN SHOCK DEMON LUST SHOCKER" : famous personalities well known to our readers have been involved in demon-summoning rituals just recently, here in our own fair county. Self-styled leader of this gang of reprobates, so-called 'druid' Fulto Brim, led an unprovoked assault on our insectoid neighbours before forcing everyone in his acquaintance to partake of mind-expanding drugs without their knowledge - this sorrowful reporter included. After experiencing numerous horrific hallucinations I finally escaped the foul clutches of this obese pervert and his cronies such as Kaane, Magnum Thunderer and a stinking baboon called Drudge, or something similar. This paper says: get these animals behind bars before they inflict their foul desires on others.

Vanmunt remains silent and it's now certain that the mining settlement has perished under the melt assault it recently suffered. Poor buggers - still, that's what you get when nobody replies to heartfelt pleas in previous issues of our caring, sharing publication.

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